Pretence

No one would mistake me for a dancer.

Which is just as much because I’m not.

But I do love dancing maybe because I don’t particularly pretend to be one.

And just about everything in life is more fun when we drop pretence.

Schadenfreude

Of my two sausage dogs, Otis is the sharper, more athletic and confident one.

He’s also more stubborn, complex and likely to get into trouble for misbehaviour.

So in the less common scenario where Ray gets a scolding, Otis is visibly pleased that for once, it’s not him.

And although he demonstrates this schadenfreude, he’ll also go after Ray and lick him to remind him he’ll be ok.

Interesting

I used to think being interesting was having the best stories, wittiest remark and some kind of showmanship.

But none of this mattered if I wasn’t listening to the other person in a conversation.

When we listen to one another closely, it opens up avenues for interesting conversation and connection.

The most interesting people are interested in you.

Focus

When I sit to meditate, I sink into the reality that in that moment, nothing really matters.

I simply am.

And as I stand up, I have a choice about what still matters to me.

This isn’t nihilism or a pointless exercise in existentialism.

It’s an exercise in caring less about what doesn’t matter, so I can care more about the few things that do.

And with this focus, I have more bandwidth to go smash the most important things in my life.

Specific

“You have a marvellous weight distribution in your stride sir”

No one gives compliments better than Troy Hawke.

He argues that the more absurdly specific the compliment, the more devastatingly effective.

And this simple change in mindset really turns a bland comment into a dazzling moment.

Compliments are better when specific.

Fine!

Professor Albert Mehrabian has published some studies on the relative importance of verbal and non-verbal cues.

In particular, when there is an inconsistency between the message and the accompanying action, we are more likely to believe the non-verbal cues.

Which is why, when we say “I’m fine!” and slam the door behind us, it is transparent that things are in fact, not.

Trap

These days merely picking up my phone feels like a dangerous activity.

Before I know it, I’m balls deep watching ten second clips of random shit on IG for ten minutes.

And then I can’t even remember why I picked up the phone in the first place.

Author Neil Postman writes in his book “Amusing ourselves to death” that our ancestors attention span as humans are being fast eroded by gratifying stimuli from screens.

Which would be fine if it were how knowledge, skill and meaning were effectively developed.

But we all know the boring reality.

It’s not.

High wire

Art about art attracts a very specific audience. Mostly critics and other artists.

And art about art can be too out for the average audience who just wants a cheap hit of dopamine.

The accolade of receiving support from both critics and mainstream results from work that walks the line between Populism vs. Progressiveness and performs on it with precision.

But this is impossible without a solid understanding of cultural legacy, and a sense of where things are headed.

Remaining relevant is a precarious balancing act of respecting the past and bringing something new to the next generation.

Fetching

My sausage dog Otis loves his ball.

And obviously balls, are boring to me.

But seeing how much Otis loves his ball makes me care a lot.

I love watching him light up when I take a ball out of the draw for fetch.

And it makes me realise that when we talk about the things we love, it doesn’t really matter what the subject is.

It’s really about you and the love you pour into it that’s contagious.

Weight

Words said and words lived feel different.

Words merely said are wooly. They are fluffy things stuffed into conversations like a cheap pillow.

In contrast, words lived punch the soul because when the words are lived, the lived experience gives it heft.

And I think this is why the same words said by different people can feel so different.

Ambience

Any environment designed for people to come together benefits from ambience.

The quieter the ambience, the more introspective.

The louder the ambience, the more shared the experience.

Libraries, galleries, cafés, airports, clubs.

Good ambience is not a difficult thing to deliver.

It just takes a little bit of thought.

Nemesis

Ray my sausage dog has an archenemy.

And it’s Bilbo the silver cat next door.

Bilbo appears each day on the shared garden fence, slowly flicking his tail while Ray goes ape shit in his presence.

And seeing this drama unfold reminds me that loveable villains calmly press buttons whilst enjoying the whole show.

Too perfect

Certain things - ironically - work better when low quality.

Viral memes.

Super market music.

3AM takeaway.

Low quality is comforting in a way that highly polished ideas struggle to be.

An unsolicited visit from an expensive suit is a reason to put our guard up.

Some things are too perfect to be comforting.

Dance

To me, dancing is one of the most beautiful activities we humans enjoy collectively.

For when we move together, we play a part in something much bigger than ourselves.

And I’d be hard pressed to find a better metaphor for people taking a step towards coming together in peace.

Dance then, wherever you may be.

Parenting

My son’s routine is currently:

Tits, shit, sleep, repeat.

Occasionally, he’ll throw in a golden shower to spice things up.

And as I look after this delinquent I realise that parenting is the first glimpse into truly unconditional love.

Why

The question of why I create art has eluded me for ages.

I’ve answered it in many different ways, but after a decade of soul searching, I think it comes down to this:

I create art because when I create art that helps others feel better, I feel better about myself too.

And with every step of progress I make, this logic is amplified internally.

That’s why.

Small talk

I never used to enjoy small talk.

It was a social obligation I performed with as little effort as possible without appearing rude.

And I think this is exactly why small talk has never really felt pleasant to me.

Small talk is simply a bid for connection.

But it is nothing if one half does as little as possible to make it happen.

For genuine connection to occur, it requires both sides to be fully invested.

And it turns out this is an investment that pays off far more often than I expected it to.

How are you?

Jokes

This morning, on a tight schedule, I managed to fall into a small river on my usual dog walk.

And if I wasn’t already late for this mornings appointment, I definitely was then.

At the time, my wife recognised this was in fact a funny story being told, but kindly listened with a straight face.

But if I’m honest, the happy part of this day didn’t start until we burst out laughing about it together this afternoon.

The funny side is the better side.

Five years

A piece of advice Cher swears by.

If it doesn’t matter in five years, it doesn’t matter.

And what a wonderful way to slam things back into perspective.

Counterfeit

The reason that wearing counterfeit is cheap isn’t because it looks fake.

It’s because the spirit of relying on image to appear succesful is fundamentally cheap.

The spirit of counterfeit is to focus entirely on superficial details.

Everything underneath breaks easily.