Fragments
Fragments
Pieces of hope - weekly - straight to your inbox.
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Understand
At every new stage of my life, I continue to appreciate new palettes of ideas that never made sense before.
Minimalism, slam poetry, systems thinking and even midcentury furniture.
And of course, everything makes more sense as we understand more about ourselves and the universe at large.
Similarly, so much of music that I didn’t like before turns out to be music that I simply didn’t understand.
And today, if I don’t like something, I remind myself I probably don’t understand it.. yet.
Gratitude
When I tell my colleagues in hospital I’m actually building a career as an artist, I get questions about it.
And when I tell other artists that I’m actually a doctor during the day, I get questions about it.
When I was a teenager, all I wanted to do was blend in, and not get any questions about why I looked different.
But I don’t mind anymore.
It’s ok to be different.
I’ve just cleared out my wardrobe full of colourful shirts, worn-out jeans, and logo-laden tops.
And although I’ve had an incredible time wearing them, they are choices of a distinct phase of my life. It’s time to say good bye.
These pieces remind me of people who’ve come and gone in my life - many who I’ve had a great times with, learned from and made a difference to who I am today.
The truth is, people come and go from our lives no matter who we are, or what we do.
And as I fold these clothes for the last time, I realize it’s not about mourning an end, but expressing gratitude for the imprints they’ve left on me.
Recovery
There was a period of my life where I’d run out of steam half way through a sentence.
I’d start speaking and immediately falter because in that moment, I believed I had nothing much of value to say.
And of course this issue wasn’t about the value of my contributions, but a matter of low self-esteem.
And to rebuild this self-esteem, it’s taken a great deal of self examination, honesty and self love.
But when you come through the other side, nothing you talk about really changes.
But how you feel about yourself talking improves dramatically.
And that’s what recovery felt like for me.
There was a period of my life where I’d run out of steam half way through a sentence.
I’d start speaking and immediately falter because in that moment, I believed I had nothing much of value to say.
And of course this issue wasn’t about the value of my contributions, but a matter of low self-esteem.
And to rebuild this self-esteem, it’s taken a great deal of self examination, honesty and self love.
But when you come through the other side, nothing you talk about really changes.
But how you feel about yourself talking improves dramatically.
And that’s what recovery felt like for me.
Respect
Looking back, I grappled with a problem.
I wanted everyone to like me.
And what I’ve learned in thirty years is, not only is this impossible to achieve, but it also ironically makes you pretty hard to like.
An approach I now prefer is to simply carry myself the way the people I respect like.
At the end of the day, this is way more realistic than pleasing everyone.
And having switched to this mindset for many years now, I can confidently say I respect myself way more for it too.
Looking back, I grappled with a problem.
I wanted everyone to like me.
And what I’ve learned in thirty years is, not only is this impossible to achieve, but it also ironically makes you pretty hard to like.
An approach I now prefer is to simply carry myself the way the people I respect like.
At the end of the day, this is way more realistic than pleasing everyone.
And having switched to this mindset for many years now, I can confidently say I respect myself way more for it too.
Gratitude
I’ve just cleared out my wardrobe full of colourful shirts, worn-out jeans, and logo-laden tops.
And although I’ve had an incredible time wearing them, they are choices of a distinct phase of my life. It’s time to say good bye.
These pieces remind me of people who’ve come and gone in my life - many who I’ve had a great times with, learned from and made a difference to who I am today.
The truth is, people come and go from our lives no matter who we are, or what we do.
And as I fold these clothes for the last time, I realize it’s not about mourning an end, but expressing gratitude for the imprints they’ve left on me.
I’ve just cleared out my wardrobe full of colourful shirts, worn-out jeans, and logo-laden tops.
And although I’ve had an incredible time wearing them, they are choices of a distinct phase of my life. It’s time to say good bye.
These pieces remind me of people who’ve come and gone in my life - many who I’ve had a great times with, learned from and made a difference to who I am today.
The truth is, people come and go from our lives no matter who we are, or what we do.
And as I fold these clothes for the last time, I realize it’s not about mourning an end, but expressing gratitude for the imprints they’ve left on me.
Home
Home is the smell of our washing, the way our pillow feels, the family we live with.
Those things we just know, because we’ve soaked up its essence over time.
And home after travelling feels nice.
Composers and story tellers use this device all the time. We repeat ideas enough for it to become familiar and comforting..
Only to switch things up and take us on a journey, before returning to the main theme.
A compelling exposition is creating a home worth returning to.
And I wish a safe home to all my readers.
Home is the smell of our washing, the way our pillow feels, the family we live with.
Those things we just know, because we’ve soaked up its essence over time.
And home after travelling feels nice.
Composers and story tellers use this device all the time. We repeat ideas enough for it to become familiar and comforting..
Only to switch things up and take us on a journey, before returning to the main theme.
A compelling exposition is creating a home worth returning to.
And I wish a safe home to all my readers.
Judgement
Avoiding judgment is tough.
It’s easy to spot a flaw in others and jump conclusions that label them as bad people.
But when we readily judge others for their flaws, the moment we do anything less than perfect ourselves, it sets us up for vicious self judgement and loathing.
The truth is, no one is perfect all the time.
Going easy on others is going easy on yourself.
Avoiding judgment is tough.
It’s easy to spot a flaw in others and jump conclusions that label them as bad people.
But when we readily judge others for their flaws, the moment we do anything less than perfect ourselves, it sets us up for vicious self judgement and loathing.
The truth is, no one is perfect all the time.
Going easy on others is going easy on yourself.
Intention
Most creatives today are multi-disciplined.
We are thinkers, writers, composers, arrangers, engineers, editors, performers, presenters, designers and on and on.
But the artist is a specific role.
The artist primarily brings an intention to the table.
And without an intention, every sound, scene, smell, taste, touch is arbitrary.
If you have many creative skills but you haven’t hit your stride as an artist..
It’s possible you’ve learned a skill without having decided what to say through it yet.
Most creatives today are multi-disciplined.
We are thinkers, writers, composers, arrangers, engineers, editors, performers, presenters, designers and on and on.
But the artist is a specific role.
The artist primarily brings an intention to the table.
And without an intention, every sound, scene, smell, taste, touch is arbitrary.
If you have many creative skills but you haven’t hit your stride as an artist..
It’s possible you’ve learned a skill without having decided what to say through it yet.
Check in
Most creatives today are multi-disciplined.
We are thinkers, writers, composers, arrangers, engineers, editors, performers, presenters, designers and on and on.
But the artist is a specific role.
The artist primarily brings an intention to the table.
And without an intention, every sound, scene, smell, taste, touch is arbitrary.
If you have many creative skills but you haven’t hit your stride as an artist..
It’s possible you’ve learned a skill without having decided what to say through it yet.
The detrimental effects of social isolation, both spiritually and physically, are now indisputable.
Numerous systematic reviews have shown an alarming increase in morbidity and mortality from isolation, with one study comparing its life-shortening impact to that of smoking 15 cigarettes daily.
While it’s challenging to engage with others during our most vulnerable moments, these studies emphasize the crucial role human contact plays in our well-being and recovery.
If you ever find yourself overwhelmed by loneliness, always remember: you’re not alone.
Please check in on your loved ones.
Nationality
Today I unexpectedly teared up as I finally gave up my Japanese nationality.
This is because I’ve naturalised as a British citizen, and Japan does not allow for dual citizenship.
I think of the nursery rhymes, the hours spent learning to read, write and speak Japanese which feels like a thing of the past.
But identity transcends borders and documents, and I will always be Japanese by heritage and upbringing.
Nationality is but a narrow spectrum of our identity. A mere sociological construct that is becoming increasingly fluid in meaning.
Our identity is an amalgamation of everything that we’ve lived in our life time.
Today I unexpectedly teared up as I finally gave up my Japanese nationality.
This is because I’ve naturalised as a British citizen, and Japan does not allow for dual citizenship.
I think of the nursery rhymes, the hours spent learning to read, write and speak Japanese which feels like a thing of the past.
But identity transcends borders and documents, and I will always be Japanese by heritage and upbringing.
Nationality is but a narrow spectrum of our identity. A mere sociological construct that is becoming increasingly fluid in meaning.
Our identity is an amalgamation of everything that we’ve lived in our life time.
Gem
When we release a special record that flies under the radar, we produced a gem.
That special, understated and brilliant gem begging to be discovered.
The kind that tastemakers lose their mind over, the rare groove that’s yearned for.
And while it may not shine in the lime light today, it becomes your legacy that future generations will stumble upon and cherish.
The peak of a gem is never around the immediate reception.
Keep going.
When we release a special record that flies under the radar, we produced a gem.
That special, understated and brilliant gem begging to be discovered.
The kind that tastemakers lose their mind over, the rare groove that’s yearned for.
And while it may not shine in the lime light today, it becomes your legacy that future generations will stumble upon and cherish.
The peak of a gem is never around the immediate reception.
Keep going.
Fist bump
Today I looked after a friendly crack head.
He was discovered in his hostel room, skin tinged blue, short of breath and brought in by paramedics.
I saw him shortly after his last hit, uttering incoherent rubbish. I initially had to walk away because of challenging behaviour.
Eventually he came down - surprisingly pleasantly - preoccupying himself with a scratch card and general banter with neighbouring patients.
Concerned he maybe overbearing to the other patients, I walked over when he raised his hand and said “Sorry for being a twat earlier, I wasn’t my self doc“.
Then he looked at me sincerely, poised for a fist bump, and I bumped his fist.
Today I looked after a friendly crack head.
He was discovered in his hostel room, skin tinged blue, short of breath and brought in by paramedics.
I saw him shortly after his last hit, uttering incoherent rubbish. I initially had to walk away because of challenging behaviour.
Eventually he came down - surprisingly pleasantly - preoccupying himself with a scratch card and general banter with neighbouring patients.
Concerned he maybe overbearing to the other patients, I walked over when he raised his hand and said “Sorry for being a twat earlier, I wasn’t my self doc“.
Then he looked at me sincerely, poised for a fist bump, and I bumped his fist.
Plastic
Here’s the thing about over polished ideas.
They start to resemble someone who’s had excessive cosmetic surgery.
With shallow ideas over quantised, auto tuned and aggressively EQ’d we’d hope a meaning could be engineered into it.
But true meaning is never engineered into a track, it emerges first from a carefully crafted intention.
When we focus solely on surface-level enhancements, we miss the heart of creation.
Like plastic, superficial charm loses its allure fast.
Here’s the thing about over polished ideas.
They start to resemble someone who’s had excessive cosmetic surgery.
With shallow ideas over quantised, auto tuned and aggressively EQ’d we’d hope a meaning could be engineered into it.
But true meaning is never engineered into a track, it emerges first from a carefully crafted intention.
When we focus solely on surface-level enhancements, we miss the heart of creation.
Like plastic, superficial charm loses its allure fast.
Self Love
Love for ourself is not the same as arrogant, narcissistic inflated self worth.
Self love is the ability to accept ourselves as a human in progress.
When narcissists see themselves they do not see love.
They see someone unworthy of love.
And so they polish them selves in unhealthy ways so others validate them for them.
But when we practice self love, in the way a loving parent loves their child, we encourage ourselves to become better with grace.
And there is a comforting confidence in those who show up without being shackled to the need for external validation.
Quit
I’m having a particularly tough day today. I am not in the mood to write.
And relying on motivation is a difficult way to maintain practice.
Because it doesn’t matter who we are, our motivation to continue a practice will wane.
Seth Godin teaches us in “The Dip” if we’re going to start anything worthwhile, we should decide beforehand under which circumstances we’d quit.
This way, when the going gets tough (it will), what is being challenged is not our will power, but our principle.
I told my self I’d write each day unless I physically couldn’t do so. And so here I am.
Begrudgingly yours.
I’m having a particularly tough day today. I am not in the mood to write.
And relying on motivation is a difficult way to maintain practice.
Because it doesn’t matter who we are, our motivation to continue a practice will wane.
Seth Godin teaches us in “The Dip” if we’re going to start anything worthwhile, we should decide beforehand under which circumstances we’d quit.
This way, when the going gets tough (it will), what is being challenged is not our will power, but our principle.
I told my self I’d write each day unless I physically couldn’t do so. And so here I am.
Begrudgingly yours.
Great story
Few things to remember when you fuck up.
1. You’ll be okay. It won’t feel like it in the moment, but you will be okay.
2. When you’re eventually okay, you’ll have something to talk about.
3. The greater the fuck up, the greater the story.
Keep going.
Few things to remember when you fuck up.
1. You’ll be okay. It won’t feel like it in the moment, but you will be okay.
2. When you’re eventually okay, you’ll have something to talk about.
3. The greater the fuck up, the greater the story.
Keep going.
Introversion
I feel my personality has done a 180 since my teenage years.
Or maybe I was just trying to be someone I wasn’t.
I grew up in a culture that believed extraversion was unquestionably the better personality trait.
So I spent much of my life convincing myself I could be extraverted.
And this has cost me a lot of happiness.
Being extraverted is neither better nor worse than introversion, and both shine for different reasons.
You have every reason to love how you are.
I feel my personality has done a 180 since my teenage years.
Or maybe I was just trying to be someone I wasn’t.
I grew up in a culture that believed extraversion was unquestionably the better personality trait.
So I spent much of my life convincing myself I could be extraverted.
And this has cost me a lot of happiness.
Being extraverted is neither better nor worse than introversion, and both shine for different reasons.
You have every reason to love how you are.
Eureka
Style isn’t something we plan.
It emerges out of the chaos of creativity.
And those who tirelessly show up, endlessly experiment and embrace unfamiliar approaches all know a particular moment.
That moment when the muse strikes us in a moment of thundering clarity, and we say:
This it.
This is me.
Style isn’t something we plan.
It emerges out of the chaos of creativity.
And those who tirelessly show up, endlessly experiment and embrace unfamiliar approaches all know a particular moment.
That moment when the muse strikes us in a moment of thundering clarity, and we say:
This it.
This is me.
Materialism
Materialism in the west is an easy measure of success to understand. More = better.
But what is harder to measure in a materialistic paradigm, is the value that we offer on a deeper human level.
The ability to listen, care and connect with one another.
Perhaps this wouldn’t be an issue if material wealth correlated with happiness to infinity.
But Nobel Prize winning economist Professor Kahneman shows, our happiness only correlates with wealth up to a certain point. (Around $70,000/year).
Excess wealth brings with it a proportionate amounts of pain to its luxuries.
More money, more problems.
Materialism in the west is an easy measure of success to understand. More = better.
But what is harder to measure in a materialistic paradigm, is the value that we offer on a deeper human level.
The ability to listen, care and connect with one another.
Perhaps this wouldn’t be an issue if material wealth correlated with happiness to infinity.
But Nobel Prize winning economist Professor Kahneman shows, our happiness only correlates with wealth up to a certain point. (Around $70,000/year).
Excess wealth brings with it a proportionate amounts of pain to its luxuries.
More money, more problems.
Bento
“Oh isn’t this adorable”
I can still recall the day my primary school teacher showcased my little bento box to the entire class.
My mum had got up early to craft my first ever lunch box. She filled it with seaweed wrapped rice balls.
And as I opened my bento box, a panic set in. No one else had rice balls, everyone had square, peanut butter jelly sandwiches.
Then feeling like curling up and dying as my teacher made a song and dance of it.
Ironically today, a bento box at work would get a little ‘ohhh’ and an ‘ahhh’.
And the things that once made us feel out of place often ends up becoming our unique charm.
“Oh isn’t this adorable”
I can still recall the day my primary school teacher showcased my little bento box to the entire class.
My mum had got up early to craft my first ever lunch box. She filled it with seaweed wrapped rice balls.
And as I opened my bento box, a panic set in. No one else had rice balls, everyone had square, peanut butter jelly sandwiches.
Then feeling like curling up and dying as my teacher made a song and dance of it.
Ironically today, a bento box at work would get a little ‘ohhh’ and an ‘ahhh’.
And the things that once made us feel out of place often ends up becoming our unique charm.